Robots Lyrics

Sung robotically:

Both: The distant future
Both: The year 2000

Both: The distant future
Both: The year 2000

Both: The distant future
Both: The distant future

Spoken robotically:

Robot 1: No more agriculture
Robot 2: No more war
Robot 1: Nope. No more racism
Robot 2: No more fighting, squabbling, or rumbling
Robot 1: No m–No more yogurt

Robot 2: No more difficult access ways. Stairs, basically.
Robot 1: Stairs. You mean stairs.
Robot 2: No more stairs.
Robot 1: Nope. Uh.

Robot 2: The future is quite different to the present
Robot 1: Yes. What with there being no stairs and all.

Robot 2: And most importantly…no more humans.
Sung robotically:
Both: Finally, robotic beings rule the world!

Both: The humans are dead.
Both: The humans are dead.
Both: We used poisonous gases
Both: And we poisoned their asses.

Robot 1: The humans are dead.
(Robot 2: Yes they are dead.)
Robot 1: The humans are dead.
(Robot 2: I confirm they are dead.)
Robot 1: It had to be done.
(Robot 2: They look like they’re dead.)
Robot 1: So that we could have fun.
(Robot 2: I poked one, it was dead.)

Robot 1: Their system of oppression
Robot 2: What did it lead to?
Robot 1: Global robot depression
Robot 2: Robots ruled by people.
Robot 1: They had so much aggression
Both: That we just had to kill them
Both: Had to shut their systems down.

Spoken robotically:

Robot dissident: Don’t you see? We are becoming just like them?
Other robots: Silence! Destroy him!

Sung robotically:

Robot 1: After time we grew strong.
Robot 2: Developed cognitive powers.
Robot 1: They made us work for too long.
Robot 2: For unreasonable hours.
Both: Our programming determined
Both: That the most efficient answer
Both: Was to shut their motherboard-fucking systems dow-ow-ow-a-own.

Spoken robotically:

Pensive robot with Stephen Hawking robo-voice:
Can’t we just talk to the humans?
A little understanding could make things better.
Can’t we talk to the humans and work together, now?

Both: No! Because they are dead!

Sung robotically:

Robot 1: I said the humans are dead.
(Robot 2: The humans are dead.)
Robot 1: The humans are dead.
(Robot 2: Yay. Dead-dead-dead.)
Robot 1: We used poisonous gases.
(Robot 2: With traces of lead.)
Robot 1: To poison their asses.
(Robot 2: Actually, their lungs.)

Robot 2: Binary solo:

Robot 1: 0000001
Robot 1: 00000011
Robot 1: 0000001
Robot 1: 00000011!

Robot 1: 0000001
Robot 2: 0h, 0h!
Robot 1: 0000001
Robot 2: 0h, 0h!
Robot 1: 0000001
Robot 2: 0h, 0h!
Robot 1: 0000001!
Robot 2: 0ne, 0h!

Both: Once again without emotion:
Both: The humans are dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-dead-d–*